Best reason to call off of work.....

Well, everyone knows someone who called in "sick" even though they weren't, right? I mean.... come on, we all do it from time to time. Either we view or lives as too stressful, our favorite team made the playoffs (go Cardinals!), or our neighbors dog is getting married, us Americans like finding an excuse for slacking off.

Speaking of..... here's a few good reason I found online that you can use if you feel the urge to miss a day of work:

1. I have to get my car to the shop. If I don’t get it there in half an hour it’ll be locked out all weekend. (Don’t use if boss seems wide awake).
2. I got my fingers stuck together with Krazy Glue.
3. I have been asked to serve on a presidential advisory panel.
4. I have to take my biological clock in for service.
5. I’m having my eyes checked this noon, and they put drops in them so I won’t be able to work afterwards. (I have used this one in the last month)

But yesterday, we heard THE BEST excuse ever..... my uvula is swollen to almost twice its normal size. Everyone knows what their uvula is right? It's the dangly ball thingy in your throat that people seem to confuse for their tonsils all the time. (Remember when Chowder said ..... its' Uvula? must be a girl house)

I think it always best to use words that would confuse your supervisors or co workers when calling out sick.

Don't want to lift a heavy box in your warehouse position? try "I have suffered a slightly lacerated phalanges"
OR
"I am suffering from constant contractions of my diaphragm" is one that will draw quizzical looks from people and get you out of that nasty presentation you have to do...

But when the doctor prescribes ibuprofin at the instacare, we have learned that a swollen uvula is the best way to get out of work period.